Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
How external is "for external use only"?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize