It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
