I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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