Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
