Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
