am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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