either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
