So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
