respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
