Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
