At least make sure they are 18
Why
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
