I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
