Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
