This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
