My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize