I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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