apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
