no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Randomize
