We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
