How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He kissed a someone with a penis
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
