He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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