Kiss
Puke
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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