Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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