when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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