You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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