Well apparently he's into motor boating.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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