Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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