Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
