i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
