So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
