Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
