I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
