does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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