you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize