I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
