Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
