I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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