Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
