You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
