There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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