I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
