I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
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