but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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