This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
