Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize