I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
