i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize