just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
