were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
