you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize