"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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