i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize