Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry bigchiefstx hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(636): View more from Missouri

On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"

Fav 12 4971 988
share tweet
(250): View more from British Columbia

Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.

Fav 21 1598 5136
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(812): View more from Indiana

Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on

Fav 4 1745 906
share tweet
(804): View more from Virginia

Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.

Fav 4 1139 2359
share tweet
(530): View more from California

The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.

Fav 3 2164 1005
share tweet
(831): View more from California

YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.

Fav 21 2058 951
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.

Fav 6 899 1797
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(720): View more from Colorado

Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.

Fav 0 117 97
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(684): View more from American Samoa

Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.

Fav 0 34 10
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT