The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I will be naked everywhere
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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