why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
