That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
