So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I supernannyed him into submission
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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