I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
