I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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