We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
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