How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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