First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I don't deserve a penis
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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