I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize