so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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