he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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