dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
