stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize