i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize