I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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