I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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