therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Let's paint friendship bongs
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
