Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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