I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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