Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
